087- Interview: Coping with Difficult Older Parents

In This Episode:

Dr. K talks with family caregiving expert Barbara Kane, LCSW, co-author of “Coping With Your Difficult Older Parent: A Guide for Stressed-Out Children.” She is a co-founder of Aging Network Services, which provides geriatric care management and psychotherapy services. They discuss:

• What it means to be a “difficult” older person, and why most such older parents have been “difficult” their entire lives
• Categories of difficult behavior, including dependent, “turnoff”, self-centered, controlling, self-destructive, and fearful behaviors
• How Aging Network Services helps adult children examine and improve their own interactions with their aging parents
• Why age-related challenges are especially hard on “difficult” people
• Why adult children must often learn to tolerate an older parent’s unhappiness
• How it can help to stop arguing, stop “trying to fix,” and stop “trying to please”
• Tips on boundaries and setting limits with an older parent
• How bringing in a geriatric care manager can help an aging parent accept needed help
• Strategies for better communication with siblings when discussing plans for aging parents
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Related episodes: 

069- Evaluating Memory & Thinking Problems: 10 Causes & 10 Things to Check

028- When Older Parents Resist Help: 4 Tips for Better Talks

Related Resources:

• Coping With Your Difficult Parent: A Guide for Stressed-Out Children
• Aging Network Services
• Aging Life Care Association: What You Need To Know
• Related articles on Better Health While Aging:
  • 6 Ways that Memory & Thinking Change with Normal Aging (& What to Do About This)
  • Cognitive Impairment in Aging: 10 Common Causes & 10 Things the Doctor Should Check